Went to Halifax for Cardiac MRI. Was very nervous beforehand. I - who am usually calm.... I hardly recognized myself. I kept thinking of the entire body enclosed MRI machine. But a friend of mine had told me that sometimes they let people listen to a music CD - so I had brought my 30 song 1960s music CD and hoped for the best.
We left around 9:30 a.m. and arrived in Halifax at around 12:30. We found where the hospital (Halifax Infirmary) was (Robie Street). We had passed by a Mazda Dealership on the way in (on Robie Street), so we decided to pass the time away looking at Mazdas (we are on the look-out for a new car to replace one of our old ones). When there, I saw my 'dream' car - Mazda Miata convertible and red to boot :o) This has always been a dream of mine - to own a Mazda Miata. Think it comes from the days before I got married when I drove a red Firebird. Then I got married and we sold it and bought a VW .... go figure. Oh well lol.
In any case, the salesman saw my looking at the Miata longingly and asked me if I was interested? Well duh - yes - practical? No. But he said he could get a key and I could sit in it - well Hallaluah!! I sat in this sporty car and it felt absolutely wonderful. I had the guy open the trunk and saw it not bit enough for a couple of sets of golf clubs - I kinda knew ti wouldn't, but hey - the price was right and I had even looked up the Miata in the Lemon Aid Car Guide (which I always buy before we buy a new car). The Miata was rated 'Recommended' and 'the best sports car available' - I looked at the price - if my memory served me right, this was a great deal. (By the way, I looked it up in the Lemon Aid car guide book when I got home - it was indeed a great buy). But back to the dealership experience. I got out of the Miata, knowing those days were over - I was after all not a teenager or in my early 20s and sport cars were a thing of my past. And one cannot relive our past, right? So I touched it one last time and made my way to the Mazda 3s and 5s - nothing too exciting there. We kinda knew what kind of cars they were anyway - because we had rented one for 10 days when we were in Ottawa at the end of June - beginning of July.
As we left the dealership, I took one last look at my 'dream' car. Oh well, at least I had sat in one - something I had not thought would ever happen.
We made our way to the Halifax Infirmary - parked in this huge parking garage - ended up on the top of the parking building, took the elevator to the 3rd floor of the Infirmary and I registered. They could not find my cardiologist's name in their computer, but had my family doctor's name - altho I told them that my cardiologist had been the one who had referred me. They said they would the results to my family doc and he could send it along to the cardiologist. All I thought was 'sheesh - Bourgeois is not an uncommon name - then realized I was not in Moncton - so Harper was more common - she even said 'oh like the last name of the Prime Minister' - well hello? Now I have no faith in my family doctor since he just may be related to our PM. Oh well.
Made my way to the MRI section where I changed and filled out a questionnaire. Just as I finished the questionnaire, the technician came out, got me to go into this other room where an IV was put in my arm - I asked her why? She said 'oh just in case they decide to use a contrast material (not iodine based).' Well what the heck - I had been on IVs before - for A-Fib and when I had went for the CT Scan of my kidneys when I had had a kidney stone 2 weeks ago. Not a big deal. Needles do not scare me. I get blood work done every month for my INR (how thin my blood is where I am on warfarin).
I asked the technician tentatively if I could have a music CD played. She said 'yes'. Well, I smiled and smiled. Told her 'thank you' over and over. Since I had had a kidney angioplasty operation (awake) 2 years ago and had used that same CD and it had relaxed me then, I figured this would be great - better music sedation than chemical sedation :o)
We went into the room and she showed me the machine - it was indeed a full body enclosure. My one thought was 'am I ever glad we have made our funeral arrangements and decided to be cremated - cause I would want to be in a closed place - especially without any music being played.' Silly thought, but one thinks silly thoughts when faced with a huge machine. I would lay on the small table and it would raise and would then slide inside. I was given a ball (felt like a black horn that one sometimes sees at ball games or at the end of an old fashioned bike). I could squeeze that and they would know I wanted to say something - as the machine would be loud and they might not hear me. Oh great I thought.
They hooked me up to an ECG, put this heavy ghastly thing on my chest (not that uncomfortable really) and then put on my headphones - told me they would start my music CD after I was in the machine. I just hoped that their music machine would work.
They had told me the test would take approximately 45-50 minutes. Not bad, I thought, since I had 30 songs and figured I had about an hour and a half of music. I closed my eyes as I was electronically slid into the machine (a bit of a tight squeeze I must admit. Makes me realize I really do have to lose a few pounds - but warfarin does put the pounds on and no matter what you eat or don't eat, those pounds do not seem to disappear). Oh well, take a deep breath...
Well, talk about taking deep breaths. Yes, I heard my music and also a lot of 'take a deep breath, release your breath, hold your breath' - then bang, bang, bang (counted 9 bangs while holding my breath) - but the banging was not loud as I had headphones on plus in-between the deep breaths - I could hear my music. With my eyes closed, I imagined myself cruising down the highway in a red mazda miata with the top down - the wind blowing my long hair (hey, I know I have short hair, but this is my fantasy and my 'happy place' and I can be who I want to be and be where I want to be and go where I want to go). I was 18 again, long flowing hair, thin body in a bikini - driving down the road from the beach (truth be told, this happened when I was 18.....so many years ago).
They did many many 'deep breaths,etc.' - also they took 'pictures' - felt the warmth on my chest as they did that. Then a little of time to relax. They slid me out of the tube to put the dye in the IV - told me there would only be another 10 minutes or so left and then it would be finished. Took another few deep breaths as per instructions (altho this time, ended up counting the bangs (they were now closer together - I could count the banks (16 of them) while holding my breath.
Then they slid me out. The strange part about this was that my CD had played all its songs and was 1/3 of the way through it again - I knew this, because I recognized the song as I was being pulled out of the machine - it was a song by the Carpenters called 'We've Only Just Begun' - I kind of found that ironic and told the technician that. She smiled. She then told me that the MRI had lasted 2 hours. I said 'huh?' - you told me it would be 45-50 minutes. I thought to myself 'sly technician......'. But then she said that the radiologist had looked at the pictures and decided he wanted more so they had to repeat them to ensure they were correct.
I was relieved to get out and pretty proud of myself. On the way home, I got to thinking about the double sets of pictures taken in the MRI and my pessimistic self started talking to me. I tried to ignore it. Then I decided - hey, if I have to think pessimistic, why not go for something positive.
So I started making a mental note of my 'bucket list'. Now I had done a 'bucket list' after I saw the movie (what else?) - The Bucket List. (this was shortly after I had retired) I had taken piano lessons as this was something I had always wanted to do. I had taken Line Dance Lessons and Ballroom Dance Lessons. I had taken a Creative Writing Course. I had written many short stories. I had opened an RDSP for my son and had his future all taken cared of finanncially. There were a few other things on my list that I had accomplished. But this new 'bucket list' would be what I would call 'my final bucket list' - if I was going to have open heart surgery (now remember here, I was thinking pessimistically), I would make a final bucket list before. There was one that I knew I would need to start immediately (just in case I did not have the time to finish it before I got the results).
My first priority - which I am going to start this week - is to make a compilation of all my short stories - put them on a CD and if the news was bad - have these short stories self-published. Fast. I wanted to see a book with my name on it. My final legacy, my final fantasy.
In the meantime, I had a few other things I wanted to do if I got bad news (like, 'sorry Ms Boulter, but you only have a week before your surgery' type of thing). So my short list is:
1. Rent a Mazda Miata for one day - a sunny day - drive it on the highway - say to Petitcodiac and back - with a Beach Boys CD playing. Enjoy the ride.
2. Rent a caddy - yup a caddy - go to my golf club - have the caddy drive the golf cart for me and hand me my clubs as I asked for them - 'hand me my 7 iron please' - have my hired caddy give me my club then use a towel to wipe it. He/she (no - it seems so appropriate to have a 'he' as a caddy) he would wipe my golf balls (I was careful how I worded that one). Give me a new ball when he felt that there might be a chip in the one I had used. Wipe it whenever needed. Drive me to where my ball had landed. Tell me what a great golf player I was....... as yes - to be spoiled to the extreme for once. To be on a golf course where any worries I have always disappear as I concentrate only on one thing - that little white ball...... one day of being spoiled - my caddy getting me something to drink when I wanted it.
3. Go see the movie 'Rise of the Planet of the Apes'. Just because.......
4. There would be one thing I would love to experience again. And that is the unconditional love of an animal. But my dog passed away about 2-3 years ago and I feel I will never feel unconditional love again. I thought of adopting a cat - it could also keep me company - but most of all it could just love me for me - BUT that would not be fair to the animal - if something should happen to me, it was not fair to have it brought back to the SPCA. Oh well.
So there you have it. And I thought : How lucky am I that I do not have a whole list of things I want to do (a long bucket list)....... I am blessed. I don't really want to travel. Takes too much time - even by plane. Oh sure, if I had my way, I could dream of meeting my idol - Greg Norman - and have a golf game with him - but that would be unrealistic. Or to go to New York and see the Christmas Tree light up - but again, too much time spent. Meet my film star idol - yeah sure.
So I would be content with the 3 items on my immediate bucket list. And now to move on to compile all my short stories into one document ...... just in case I need to have a book of short stories self-published - in time for me to see it in print. My legacy.....
Th
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