Monday, 26 March 2012

Weight Loss - continued

I haven't written here for a while. Thought I would update so those who read this will know that I am still on the right path. As of today, I have lost 23+ pounds. I enjoy listening to my 1960s music and exercising.

I sometimes get discouraged though. Those pounds seem to take forever to lose - yeah sort of. When I look at the amount of weight I have lost, it amazes me. Yet when I look in the mirror, I don't see much difference. Am learning that the mirror is not important though. What is important is the way I feel: a whole lot better!!

Talking about learning, I have been taking a creative non-fiction class. I found the teacher good in many ways, however, she never gave any positive feedback on anyone's writing and the class dwindled from 11 students to just 3 (including me). I was finding my writing enthusiasm was starting to suffer. I was feeling like I was a horrible writer. Was it me or was it her? Someone told me she was the one with a problem. I had asked her if she thought giving positive feedback was important and she had replied with 'if a student cannot accept criticism, they have a deep-seated problem that needs attention." I was ready to give up on her and then realized that perhaps my ego was my 'deep-seated' problem. Not that I thought I was ever a great writer - I have struggled with negative feelings about my writing for a long time. Never thinking what I wrote was any good. Some people call it 'IC' or Inner Critic. I thought about it and realized I had posted negative things about her teaching methods on my facebook page. I realized I had to look at what she taught in a different light.

I believe - truly - that no-one crosses our path without a purpose or a reason. So why was she put in my life at this particular time? What lesson did she have to teach me - life lesson that is.  I realized she was teaching me I could not judge another person because I had not walked in their shoes. Me, who prided herself in being non-judgemental, since I was so involved with the Advocacy Committee for those who had a mental health issue. And yet here I was, judging her. This was the lesson she was teaching me. My pride in being non-judgemental was being tested. I was judging her while at the same time advocacing against others judging others. How hypocratic of me.

Will I go to another class? I don't know at this time. I will wait until Thursday to decide. I have never quit at anything - well that is not true, I used to quit at things. But not lately. Am I going to start quitting now? I can be strong enough of a writer to take negatives and not let it affect me. I can finish the course. Or I can let her negativity discourage me enough to quit.

If I quit her class, what else will I quit? When the going gets tough..... etc.  I might be placed in her path for a reason also. Perhaps I have something to teach her. Usually teaching goes both ways. We will see.

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