Monday 26 September 2011

It's Been a While

As my Title above says -- it's been a while. 

I have not been writing much these past few weeks - month even.  I don't know why.  I feel like I am at a crossroad and am waiting to either get hit by a car or to have the cars stop and I will cross the street safely to the other side. 

My blood work - for one thing - is fine now.  It was up  (in the 3.5 range), then I lowered my dosage of warfarin and it lowered slightly (2.85) then again (2.39).  And I hope it remains there and does not decrease any further - but stays where it is - more or less.  I don't want to have to go on my higher dosage of warfarin.

I had a cystoscopy done since I last wrote.   All looked good  (said the doctor).  I had a CT Scan of the kidneys, stomach and pelvic area last Wednesday and I go for results this coming Monday - I totally expect things will be fine.  I had had a CT Scan of just the kidneys a couple of years earlier and the Scan took a lot longer - a lot more pics - they had to get the radiologist see it, then took more pics.  This time, I was in and out within 10-15 minutes - nothing to alarm me - surprised it did not take as long as the first one - which tells me that all went well - that there were no abnormalities (the last CT scan of kidneys showed 99% blockage of main artery to left kidney) - so - hence why they took extra pics.  So am not nervous - this CT Scan will be fine.

As for the results of my pulmonary test - well I had gotten a hard copy of the results (altho have not talked to my cardiologist about it) - but at least I have gotten the results.

As for the results of my Cardiac MRI - still no results. No news is good news they say eh?  Yeah, but today makes it 6  weeks since I had the MRI - would kind of like to get the results.  They must take a while.  And it was summer and vacation time, right? 

Went golfing a few times.  One time, went in A-fib so we had to leave after 15 hole.  Kind of scary - but it was very hot and humid  so put it down to that.  It is a bugger having A-fib - one feels like one's heart is gonna stop - not a good  feeling.  I knew enough to sit in front of the air conditioner - heart eventually went back to 'normal' after 3-4 hours. 

Line dancing has started again on Fridays.  And hubby and I have started taking ballroom dance lessons again.  I thought I would enjoy the ballroom dance lessons - but I don't.  Hubby is different from before.  Or maybe I am?  Not sure.  Just does not feel the same at all.  Oh well.

My writing has also suffered.  Not sure why.  I have lost interest in doing that.  I just don't think I am a good writer - I feel like I am 'faking' it.  Again I am not sure why.  I sometimes just want to crawl in bed, stay there and sleep away.........  But that is not possible..

Son has his job intervview this afternoon at 1 p.m.  Maybe that will pick up my feelings.  He was supposed to go to PEI for a chess tournament last Saturday.  When he got up, he just said 'I don't want to go' and went back to bed.  But I am just going to think positive thoughts........ if he is meant to have to have the job, he will  - I will be pleased when he goes for the interview, no matter the outcome.  He has to try..

Till next time......

2 comments:

  1. I am with you, my friend, waiting for all of these results. I am sending lots of positive thoughts and energy your way. As a person who has had the privilege of hearing your writing, I can say, honestly, that you are fantastic. You just need to stop doubting yourself and write. Please silence that inner critic so that you can write again, I want to read more of your work. Your voice matters and what you have to say matters - there is nothing fake about you. I am sending you a big hug right now.

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  2. Don't judge your writing, do it because you love it and embrace WIN for it's acceptance of it. It is brilliant, I've been touched by your stories from the very first telling and often look up to you for inspiration.

    You keep going, despite what gets in your way even though it sometimes slows you down but you're human. That's a lot more than I can say about so many others in my life who have given up before they got started even being themselves.

    Thanks for sharing and letting us inspire you for once. :)

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